{"id":2353,"date":"2021-05-06T06:16:21","date_gmt":"2021-05-06T06:16:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/peykmagazine.com\/en\/?p=2353"},"modified":"2021-05-06T06:16:24","modified_gmt":"2021-05-06T06:16:24","slug":"iran-i-ran","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/peykmagazine.com\/en\/2021\/05\/06\/iran-i-ran\/","title":{"rendered":"Iran; I ran."},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><strong>By Ali Sahebalzamani<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-2354 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/peykmagazine.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/I-Ran.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"301\" height=\"120\" \/><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cWho was that?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cOh, that was Abbas, he said hi.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cHe\u2019s definitely not okay. He was trying real hard to sound like he\u2019s \u2018fine \u2018n\u2019 dandy\u2019 \u2013 you know how they all are \u2013 but he\u2019s not in a good place.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with him? Is he having trouble with his thesis?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cHis dad\u2019s been laid off again. He\u2019s still making money driving for an app, but that\u2019s not nearly enough to make rent, so Abbas took the year off from school to work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cWhat\u2019s he doing?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWorks at a caf\u00e9.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\"> <i>Why not work in his own field<\/i>, she wants to ask, but swallows her question when she remembers what it was like last time we were home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cSaid he shows up at like seven in the morning; sets things up for when they open at eight thirty. And he stays there the whole day, gets home after midnight. Too exhausted even to read; can you imagine that? Abbas without a book in his hands?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cMust be the end of the world&#8230; .\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI asked him if he\u2019s seeing anyone and he just said he couldn\u2019t afford to, like it\u2019s nothing. What do I say to that? You know how much a cup of coffee costs right now? Between twenty to forty Tomans; last time I ordered one in Tehran it was only nine or ten. Where am I supposed to go with a conversation like that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><i>Apologize.<\/i> Beg his forgiveness; beg them all to forgive you for not being there. Not that you could have done any good for any of them were you there right now, but at least you could have shared in their suffering, kept your conscience clear. That\u2019s all you want, isn\u2019t it? Well, it\u2019s selfish either way; stay or leave: either be actively miserable, shoulder to shoulder, unsaddled with this boa constrictor strait jacket, or be passively miserable: keep quiet and just show your teeth in that standard issue SoCal smile when all you want to do is bite through this membrane of safety and go back \u2013 run and keep running, straight on home where it\u2019s properly, unabashedly miserable. But I\u2019ve never been much for running so I sit it out, all of it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cShamim said hi, too, by the way. We spoke yesterday. You know what she said to me? Said \u2018you got out just in time\u2019 and she\u2019s right; it all went to hell right at our heels. I should be grateful that I\u2019m not there, shouldn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Or at least that\u2019s what people keep telling me. And it\u2019s always one of <i>those<\/i> people; the \u201cbuild the wall\u201d folks. Yes, those guys, exclusively, are the ones who have the gall to <i>demand<\/i> I feel a certain way. <i>Yeah, you should be grateful<\/i>; what for? That they were kind enough to <i>let<\/i> me in here? That I got upgraded from living in one of <i>those<\/i> countries to living in the \u201cgreatest country in the world?\u201d What about you? Are <i>you<\/i> grateful to have been born here, free of charge?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">But I ought to be grateful; for all intents and purposes I should be ecstatic at being cocooned in the reliable, lulling tedium of \u201cnormal life.\u201d When that hashtag started trending on Farsi twitter I wanted to tear my teeth out. How dare they say that <i>that<\/i> is not normal! The audacity! To claim that I and everyone I love, through accident of birth, are condemned to abnormal life. And, groping at the monolith of longing that I have held inside me since day one, it felt like a personal insult; I would have to be insane to want to be back there, where life isn\u2019t \u201cnormal.\u201d I do <i>want<\/i> normal, don\u2019t I? The sort of life that you can plan out beforehand, then carry out, step by step towards \u201csuccess,\u201d whatever that is. <i>Well<\/i>, <i>\u201cnormal\u201d doesn\u2019t necessarily equal good<\/i>, I find myself elaborating to anyone who stands still long enough for a conversation. I never knew normalcy is something one strives towards, never got enlightened to this wisdom; \u201cit\u2019s probably a cultural thing,\u201d right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cOh, look at that.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cPari has made a post on Instagram.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cTell me what\u2019s it say. I left my phone upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cApparently she\u2019d been waiting by the curb for her car to arrive when someone on a bike buzzes past her and grabs the phone straight out of her hand.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cSame thing that happened to Hossein last week. And Sheema and Mohsen the week before that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cYup. No two ways to nab a phone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cHow are any of them going to put together enough cash to buy a new one? The other day at work it came up in conversation; you should\u2019ve seen the look on Keith\u2019s face when I told him back home no one sells phones in installments. You have no idea how hard it was to explain to him that that\u2019s simply impossible to do in a situation like Iran; how paying for anything in installments necessitates stability. He just couldn\u2019t imagine a scenario where that bare minimum of stability doesn\u2019t exist. Know what he said? \u2018Ridiculous,\u2019 that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><i>Ridiculous, <\/i>more so than the absence of stability, is yearning for that very absence; to yearn for the luxury of not having to plan out life, but to live it one day at a time, simply because you can\u2019t afford to invest too much hope into any potential destiny. I find myself flinching away from the very thing I crossed literal <i>oceans<\/i> to possess. At first glance, stability looked to me like stagnancy, like something that infects you, makes you complacent, gets you addicted to an amount of comfort that is obscene and unnecessary. And there is a case to be made against all of that and against the instant gratification and cheap luxury rampant here, but that does not, in any way, vindicate the downward spiral of utter chaos that ravages Iran.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><i>Iran<\/i>; I-Ran. I wish they\u2019d at least mispronounce it in a way that didn\u2019t imply cowardice. Iran; the very name resonates with everything you could ever possibly want to run towards and away from, the bittersweet essence of so many centuries that have passed more or less the same way as this one.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Homesickness is not the sickness, but only one of its symptoms. Then again, to consider human selfishness a disease would be unkind to all of us, particularly those who follow the needle of their heart\u2019s compass, which stubbornly points toward that place that was, and will forever after be, Home. That place where every step crunches down on the powdered bones of forebears who suffered and died in the love of that very soil which was, even then, saturated with the powdered bones of <i>their<\/i> forebears. A Ruba\u2019i by Abu-Sa\u2019eed Abulkhair comes to mind:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>All across the moors of Khavaran, there is not a single stone<br \/>\n<\/i><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><i>Which is not anointed by tears or heart\u2019s blood;<br \/>\n<\/i><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><i>Nowhere in the land, throughout all these leagues,<br \/>\n<\/i><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><i>Can one find one whose heart is free from the sorrow of your love.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Ali Sahebalzamani \u201cWho was that?\u201d \u201cOh, that was Abbas, he said hi.\u201d \u201cHow is he?\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s definitely not okay. He was trying real hard to sound like he\u2019s \u2018fine \u2018n\u2019 dandy\u2019 \u2013 you know how they all are \u2013 but he\u2019s not in a good place.\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with him? Is he having<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"two_page_speed":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[56,73],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-culture"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Iran; I ran. - Peyk Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/peykmagazine.com\/en\/2021\/05\/06\/iran-i-ran\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Iran; I ran. - Peyk Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Ali Sahebalzamani \u201cWho was that?\u201d \u201cOh, that was Abbas, he said hi.\u201d \u201cHow is he?\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s definitely not okay. He was trying real hard to sound like he\u2019s \u2018fine \u2018n\u2019 dandy\u2019 \u2013 you know how they all are \u2013 but he\u2019s not in a good place.\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with him? 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